About my N.D.E. 
Silent Music

More the 27 years ago I had a "Near-Death-Experience". In the first years thereafter I could hardly speak about it. At first I tried to forget the experience or even to deny it rationally. In the end I could no longer deny the beauty and the majesty of the feelings and I was "forced" to look at my inner distraction and to accept all the conflicting emotions and put them in place.

I think it is hardly possible to tell something in "words" about this experience. When I nevertheless try to verbalize the most important message of the experience then would it be that the only thing that really exists in the universe is Love.

The enormous discrepancy between this heavenly, unconditional Love I experienced and the hatred, murder and lovelessness I saw "here" again made it very difficult to keep this message in mind. Besides that, I suffered from
a terrible homesickness for the feelings of my heavenly experience.
Ten years after the NDE, I seriously started to sort out my conflicting feelings and suddenly I heard a kind of sweet "inner music" which I could record. Being a musician this was technically no problem. This music soothed the pain of my own negativity so that I could learn to stay with and look at my feelings without judging them or myself.

I did not "compose" this music, I could only record what I heard internally.
As soon as I tried to make even the smallest change, the music disappeared. On this way new music comes into existence still.

Since 1999 I bring it "into the world" on CD. I call these compilations mostly "Silent Music" because this title describes how I experienced the heavenly music: Not audible with the ear, but filling every fibre of the soul, warming, soothing and cherishing.

Nearly 20 yaers after the NDE I was working on the PC to prepare some grafics for printing; I gazed at the colors on the screen and suddenly I felt the renewed connection with the feelings of the NDE.
After some experiments I started painting starting from the feeling of this connection.

On the "sister-website" Kleuren van Licht you can see more examples of these paintings.
Rob Schlebaum, 2009